as yet untitled

So you joined a cult
had your heart messed with
and everything else
you grew up
you left the cult
where is your heart at

You worked hard for the cult
you did crazy things
that shouldn’t be possible
you were young
all your youthful enthusiasm
that’s where it went

You look back
you feel that you’ll never be
as perfect as that
ever again
you were pure, now you’re confused
you wish yourself back

The cult is perfect
the cult is clean
you are dirty
but you still want to
spread the thought of God
because that’s what they taught you

Of course you know other people
they wouldn’t understand
so you never tell them
you just carry it with you
while doing other things
without much enthusiasm

You feel a bit of energy
you start things
They all look different
but whatever they look like
they’re meant to serve the cult
bring new people to be messed with

The cult lives on new people
the old people don’t matter
they run themselves
into the ground
trying to grow the cult
make themselves feel good, pure

None of it is for you
all is for it
a bunch of corrupt guys
that have held on to power too long
that hide each other’s vices
their own safety and comfort

If you did really leave it all behind
you could do things
for other reasons
than trying to get back to imagined perfection. Be
with people. Trust.

You don’t need to keep
that old stuff in your heart.
You left. Be honest
for once
and really leave it.
something, someone else.


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