Neurotypical people and presents (re: Autism and the holidays)

Ben starts making his Christmas list in August because that is the time video game manufacturers start promoting the new games that will be out for the season.Ben spends countless hours researching which games he will put on his list. He is given a budget and agonizes over how to best allocate the funds for maximum enjoyment. He also keeps track of release dates so I will have sufficient time to get to the store and purchase said games in time to \”surprise\” him on Christmas morning. He gives me detailed instructions of how to plan my day on the release date so I will be sure to procure the object of his obsession. Ben worries I will forget so he reminds me DAILY of his plan.He drives me nuts.

via Autism and the Holidays | Emma Nicholson.

Well this rant just drove me a little bit nuts myself.

How about just getting things for the boy when he needs something? (That’s what happens in our household.)

From our point of view (my child is diagnosed, I’m undiagnosed, but very likely on the spectrum), making someone wait until some random day to be able to get something they want (and really, what’s so special about the anniversary of his birth, or, even worse, the fake anniversary of Jesus’ birth?) is just unfair. Of course it’s going to drive him mad. IT DOESN’T MAKE SENSE.

How about rethinking the whole thing and adjusting to how he works? If he loves video games, get him a steam account and put a monthly allowance on there that he can work with? And how about talking to him like to an actual person and allowing him to actually understand that he can get things that he wants, but not unlimited things, because mummy and daddy need to work for them? No, in the world of NTs it has to be given on certain days, and that’s to be understood, even though it really doesn’t make sense.

Who’s crazy here, I wonder?

In the meantime, we’ll keep giving things when there’s 1. a need for them and 2. the necessary bank balance.


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