Since I’ve now had some comments from the community my young person is actually involved in, I understand the problem a little bit better. And it can be summed up thus:
The members of this community are very happy to support my young person in seeing me as the enemy. The young person is still only fifteen so cannot take care of themselves. The members of this community are also very happy to blame me for not getting the young person the right sort of help. The young person now sees me as the enemy, so won’t accept any person or professional I attempt to connect them to.
Meanwhile there is still daily life to deal with and the young person is deteriorating, physically, mentally, emotionally, when they could be thriving.
Are the friends on the internet ever going to tell the young person that there are limits, that they have to start getting out of bed if they want anything positive to happen? Of course they aren’t. That enviable position, as well as paying the rent, cooking the meals, cleaning and everything else to be taken care of, falls to me, the parent. Who is a monster for believing the young person could actually do a little bit more than they are. Whatever I say is so easily construed as being transphobic, and that is then harmful to the young person’s identity, so of course, I get it. Remember I was in a cult myself.
I have not written about this for all this time because there was a danger that the young person would find it. Well the young person has found it and has come into my bedroom and beaten me in the middle of the night. Are the friends on the internet going to help with that, or tell the young person to get a hold of themselves? The fuck they are.
I also am not someone to write a pitiful post just to get people to feel bad for me. I have dealt with the situation as well as I could – it wasn’t easy even before the young person decided that they wouldn’t engage with the world again until the world saw them the way they wanted to be seen, this April. We’ve had a dad diagnosed with cancer, a late diagnosis of Aspergers, school problems that resulted in deregistration, and all sorts of fun things. Not many people around me know the details of what has been going on, even my family doesn’t know. I had succeeded in building a business before all this kicked off and there is nothing left of that, yet I keep picking myself up to try again. So yes, please continue to demonise me.
I certainly have not changed my opinion of the nice internet trans* activists.